Nearby, there is a little stretch of a beach that has become my personal place of forgiveness. Of course, I can forgive at anyplace. But I like to go there, when I have to become physically active in the forgiveness work. And besides, the wind that blows through my head and soul there, is good for me. Most of the time, I am completely alone there, that too is an advantage.Giving off anger and bitter feelings is one of the unavoidable steps necessary for me to truly forgive. More in detail I have written about it here: https://rausausderderfalle.wordpress.com/2017/10/13/vergebung -loslassen-druck-ablassen-frommen-druck-vermeiden/This morning I was walking with my dog on my forgiveness beach. I had not peed at it. But once I got there and underwent a little self-reflection, I remembered a situation from last weekend, which disturbed my peace. So I went straight into the forgiveness work. I picked up stones and hurled them into the sea. In the process, I threw words that contained my anger into the sea, and gave them to Jesus. Today it was easy and fast. The wound, that I „worked through“ was not such a bad one.
Incidentally, my dog likes this practice of forgiveness extremely well. With enthusiasm he jumps into the sea, chasing after the stones. He does not care that he does not find them anymore. He isn’t a dog, who retrieves, he is a: „I jump or swim the stick / ball / stone behind – tap it with my nose, so you know where you can pick it up- dog“. So we had our fun. Me at the beach and my dog in the water. The forgiveness work was done quickly, and in a good mood we continued on our way.
But sometimes there is still something behind … About 50 meters further I realized that there was something else, that I had to fight emotionally with. And since it had already felt so good to throw off the ballast, I got in immediately.The topic, what it is about, is currently a perennial favorite for me. It has to do with financial support and with my lack of trust that God will provide us perfectly as a family. I believe, he cares – but it’s head-knowledge. My heart still is frightened. I am a very human human being, with very typical human feelings. If the purely human point of view signals to me, that reality does not look good, then my head also believes that. And my heart. And then I get very agitated, and find some things very unfair.
So this morning I spoke a few whiny and self-pitying thoughts towards Jesus. And I asked my questions about the topic. And he answered very promptly and very impressively, because I stood right here and looked right there:
To what my eyes saw, the bible verse immediately flashed in my head:
How prompt and loving is this answer, that I got this morning. And immediately a lot of gratitude came to my heart. About how well I’m doing in reality. How well I am taken care of: materially, ideally and emotionally .
And another (superhuman) reality opened, and I realized (not only with my head, but also with my heart) that I am indeed the child of a king, and that all the riches that my father possesses in heaven, are available for me. So what should I worry about? From the abundance I may take, and from the abundance I may give. I am able to be generous. To give generously. To live lavishly for the sake of others. My future is in my father’s hands.